Posts tagged life balance

Freedom

You are not defined by your history, but by who you aspire to be.
Not by what you have done, but by the best of who you are.
Do not be trapped by your past.
Allow the promise of the future to guide your way.
Embrace your potential. It is all that matters.
~Brandy Herron

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Mommy Needs a Time Out

Welcome to Michelle Hoad of www.tablefornine.blogspot.com.

Michelle is my first guest blogger.  She has a positive attitude, is really funny and has learned that taking care of herself is the most important part of being a great mom.   Thank you for your contribution Michelle.

My name is Michelle, I am a former stay at home, homeschooling mom turned divorcee caring for four kids on my own, turned blended family, work at home, wife of a fireman real estate agent with seven kids.  If it sounds crazy, you should have tried living it.  I believe in living your life to the fullest and never regretting anything.  I love my life and I wouldn’t have changed a thing.  I think that finding the humor in even the most mundane things in our lives is one of the keys to my happiness.  Not that there is much in our house that is mundane.  Seven kids under the age of 15 make things very interesting.

Michelle Hoad

Michelle Hoad


Mommy Needs a Time Out

I was 37 years old when I finally decided what I wanted to be when I grew up.  Of course, that is assuming that I am grown up.  At times, I still feel like a 13 year old girl, trapped in the body of a slightly chubby, 30something mom with too many stretch marks and grey hairs.  Then I finally realize that the crazy woman hollering at seven kids is me.

I am stunned at times to realize how fast the past 25 years have gone by, but how long it took me to decide on a career path.  I don’t feel like what I do defines who I am, but I wanted to find a career that I enjoyed doing.  Time I spend away from my family has to be fulfilling to me.  For so many years, I focused all of my time and attention on my children.  So much so, that my first marriage ended.  Not paying attention to his needs or to my needs caused a huge rift in our marriage.

I felt that I could spend time on myself and my interests later, when all the kids are grown.  By ignoring myself, I often felt tired, worn out and short tempered.  There were times when I was just one cranky lady.  To me, giving all my time to everyone else was what I was supposed to do.  Taking time for myself was taking time away from my kids and that was virtually child abuse.  I mean, what kind of woman allows herself to go out with her friends and spend time away from her kids.  A sane woman, that’s who.

When I take time for myself, I am more patient and calm when caring for my kids.  Giving yourself permission to do what makes you happy is important, whether you craft, exercise, scrapbook, write, or just sit in a coffee shop with a good book for an hour.   Don’t just take what time is left over, schedule time and covet it like you covet your neighbor’s brand new 2009 loaded Suburban.  Sorry, maybe that’s just me.

It doesn’t matter if you are a working mom, taking a short stop to decompress after a hard day at work, or a stay at home mom who has been with her precious little screaming heathens all day long, we all need a little mom time.  You will find that giving your kids some time without you will make them appreciate you a little more.  They will come to realize that mom is more than the maid, cook and boo boo kisser.

They will learn that yes, Dad can do those things and more.  He might do them a little differently than mom, but that’s ok.  No, really, it is.  Going to bed without a bath for one night will not cause irreparable damage to their delicate little psyches.  The most important thing is taking time to recharge your batteries so you can be the best mom you can be.

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Achieve Your Dreams

Recently, I wrote a guest article for the Ohana Mama blog. I had several requests to post it here on Tier1 Living, so here it is…

I remember something I read on the Ohana Mama blog about moving to Hawaii. Many people want to move to Hawaii, but think it is only a pipe dream. The response is “No it’s not…if you don’t want it to be.” The Ohana Mama, Sarah, had the courage to follow her dream and move to Hawaii.

Ask yourself, “What is my plan? What are my goals?” There are a lot of people who have lost sight of their dreams, or have talked themselves out of achieving their goals. I’ll share my wakeup call with you.
About three years ago, while pregnant with my second child, I had a startling revelation. I was so immersed in being a “Mommy” that I had lost sight of my goals. I’d forgotten what I wanted for my life.
Prior to having children, I had a demanding job as an account executive. I had carved out a career path and was determined to get where I wanted by the time I was 30. At age 27, when my first daughter was born, my path took a detour. I knew that for the immediate future, I wanted to be home with my child.
I took my ambition and redirected it into “mommyhood.” I thought I was doing a great job of enriching my daughter’s life. She was in art, music, and gymnastics classes. She had regular play dates and plenty of time to explore her world. I would find fun crafts, and hunted for cool events for our excursions.

After my epiphany, I envisioned life when my children were in school full time. The thought scared me. What would I do with myself while they were in school? I spent so much time creating the perfect childhood for my daughter that I forgot who I was.

What Goals?
Was I being a good role model? I always told my daughter that she could do, and be, anything she wanted. If I wasn’t working towards my own goals, was I setting a good example?
Okay, so I needed to get some goals … that would have to wait until tomorrow.

My second realization was that I didn’t have time to define my goals. Every time I sat down to create them, I felt antsy and thought of the things I needed to do for my other commitments. I was overscheduled and something needed to change. I was preschool room Mom, play date coordinator, elaborate birthday planner, social butterfly, enrichment director, community volunteer, and not to forget, homemaker.

Upon discussing this with my best friends, I realized that it wasn’t just me. We were all in the same boat. While we had a clear plan for what we wanted our children to experience, we had no plan for what we wanted to achieve for ourselves. The consensus was that we’d figure that out later.

Time for Change
My life went through a transformation. I reprioritized and streamlined my commitments. Then, I had time to reconnect with my dreams. Prior to that, my thoughts were so crowded I was unable to have clear vision for my purpose beyond being a mom. The experience of motherhood has shown me how precious life is, and the value of time; both pass quickly.

Since defining my goals, I began pursuing my passion. My joy comes from inspiring people to live the life they want. I hope to help others carve out time for themselves; focus on achieving their goals, and nurture meaningful relationships.

It is necessary to have direction. Without knowing where you want to go, you will end up walking in circles. Yes, it is important to ensure your kids have a high quality childhood. However, you also have a responsibility to yourself. You will have more to give, if you make your dreams one of your priorities.

A Focused Life is an Exceptional Life
Take time to create your goals and define your plan to achieve them. Once you know where you want to go, the path will unfold.

First, determine why you are waiting to take action. Often, it is self-doubt that is standing in your way. You must believe in your own success. Second, determine the steps for reaching your goals. It is okay if it takes time to achieve your dreams. As long as you are moving forward you will have a sense of accomplishment.

Next, identify and bypass the roadblocks. These come in many forms: time, relationships, self-doubt, and finances. Once you label your roadblocks, you can determine how to conquer them. Lastly, take action and don’t give up.

Achieving your goals is no different than moving to Hawaii; it just takes some planning. In the end, you will be basking in the sun too.

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